so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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