He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
