The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I think people are normalizing furries
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
