I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
