tell your sister to shave her snatch
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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