She tied me up with her honor cords...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
