Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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