She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
