Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
