The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
