am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
