In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
