I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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