Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
