I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
