I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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