ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
