Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
