You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
