some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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