At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
tell me about the eggs
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
