Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
