my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
