my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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