32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
