i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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