Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
