Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
