You just made me feel so damn special
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
