K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
