Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
