butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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