It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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