This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
