so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
