i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
