He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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