You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
They took my balls.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
