i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
