I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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