my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
