Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
