Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You're like the curious george of whores
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
