i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
