so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
