Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
