I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
