Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
