I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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