it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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