She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
