fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
