you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
