He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
