she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
