I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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